When is ‘enough’?

From what I have read from others blogs, it’s a pretty natural reaction to reject all things related to infertility if a cycle fails. That certainly happened to me when IVF/ICSI #1 failed, I didn’t want to read anything related to infertility and that stretched into the feeling that I needed to distance myself from my blog for a while.

Just before #1 failed I had started to read a book called ‘Making Babies The Hard Way by Caroline Gallup. It tells the real life story of a couple who meet well into their 30’s and decide they want to start a family. I got through about a third of the book before I just ‘lost interest’ after our failure.

I started reading it again the other day and in fact finished it this morning and the ending to the book started me thinking (if you want to or intend to read the book don’t carry on reading as I don’t want to spoil it for you).

The couple discovered that the man had azoospermia, so moved onto donor sperm. With the donor sperm they tried a total of 3 IUI’s (tablets and then injections) and they didn’t manage to get pregnant. They were toying with the idea of IVF but decided enough was enough…..and it was this part that fascinated me.

When is ‘enough’?

In a way I was wishing that she would try just one IVF, but then I realised that she had already pushed the boundaries of where she wanted to be, she never wanted to inject, yet she ended up trying it.

I guess it made me realise that everyone’s final boundaries are different and in a way it makes me envious that she knew where to draw the line. I know I would do anything (medical wise) to try to have a baby and therefore how will I know where my boundaries are? Will I find it difficult to say ‘enough is enough’?

The last paragraph in the book really hit home, it says:

“At some point, you have to decide how much is enough for you. Will you continue until you have a baby, or will you stop, re-assess, look inside each other’s souls and give each other permission to call it a day? Do as much as you want to, while you have the time. Might the right choice for you. Make it together and make it with love.”

I can only guess you just know in your heart when it’s time to move on.