Picture the scene, you and one of your closest friends talk for months about both of your desires to have children. She knows that you need IVF to conceive and she doesn’t have anything wrong fertility wise but doesn’t have a boyfriend…so you kind of feel in the same boat, with the clock ticking as you're both the wrong side of 35.
Starting in October 2006 we had our first IVF consultation, then spend months waiting for blood tests, doctors appointments, hospital appointments, results, sort out the cock up from the results, re-tests, results, more tests and treatment to start. Just as I am about to start my treatment I have a dream that she is pregnant and I sent her a text, she called, and told me she was - hey perhaps I am psychic and could earn millions...one way to fund the treatment!
I am genuinely pleased for her but what do I do if my cycle fails? Our babies would have been a similar age. What will it mean for our friendship? I feel bad that I can’t really celebrate her pregnancy and go with her every step of the way because I think it will hurt me too much at th moment. I know her dream would be for us to go through it together but I know our chances are slim.
This has happened to many of you out there before and I know I’ll be ok, it’s probably just a shock at the moment. It could even be the drugs that are making me upset, but the question that keeps coming back to me is why does life have to be so tough sometimes?
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4 comments:
Ugh, that's so hard...right when you're starting your first cycle and everything. I'm really sorry. I've been fortunate that I haven't had a similar experience (yet) but it makes me feel sick to my stomach when my friends talk about their plans to start trying soon, so I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I'm thinking positive thoughts about your cycle and the possibilities that lie ahead.
The shock stings like a bitch...I am sorry that you had to hear that--and I know you are genuinely happy for your friend-but that doesnt make it easier! I am keeping ALL faith and hope that the cycle DOES work for you!
Best wishes on your first IVF cycle!
The shots get easier as you do them. The trick is to try to make it just a part of your daily routine. Once it is a normal part of the day you won't feel nervous or stressed about getting them done.
Hope it all goes well for you!
Ouch. Been there and it totally sucks.
I'm hoping you can find a way to concentrate on your current cycle, and what you need at this time... whatever that looks like.
Here's hoping this will be your first, and last cycle...
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