We had our appointment at the hospital this morning and just as we thought they confirmed it was a definite negative, so no surprises there. The nurse was really helpful with advice and guidance and we even had a laugh at the end of the conversation - bet she's not used to that after a negative.
I drove home alone as my Other Half went off to get the train to London. As I was driving along I felt the overwhelming urge to go to see my friend. She found out she was pregnant just as I started my treatment and we haven't seen each other since then, mainly because I needed to retreat into my hole until the cycle was over. Well, as the treatment was over, I felt it was time to move on and start to get involved and enjoy her pregnancy.
I turned up unannounced and her other half answered the door, I haven't met him before (long story), but I asked if J was in and he just turned and walked into the house without saying much. J was on the phone but told me to go into the kitchen for a drink and she would be with me soon.
She came in and asked if I had good news for her, I just handed her my leaflet from the hospital, entitled 'Advice following unsuccessful treatment cycle'. She looked at me and said sorry then said "Looks like we're in it together, the baby is poorly". I was stunned.
She found out yesterday following scans and CVS results that her baby has Downs Syndrome. They will say their goodbyes tomorrow.
We hugged, we cried and said we can support each other.
It just makes me realise that its never over till the healthy baby appears. It's also really put my situation into perspective, my situation is disappointing, hers is devastating, so its time for me to be the greatest friend I can be.
I'm seeing Mr A later today about our next steps and will update soon after that. For now I feel sad, but not for me.
Love you J xx
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21 comments:
What a blessing for her that you'll be able to be there for her.
Go softly. xo
I'm so sorry for your friend. It really does put things into perspective, doesn't it? She's lucky to have such a great friend to support her.
I am so sorry to hear about your negative and about whatyour friend is going through. (btw - got your card and it really brightened my day! Thanks :))
oh sho.ot! thanks for being a friend to her. The world could use more people like you
It sounds like you had a cosmic connection to J! Glad you were there for each other--and what a HARD decision they had to make....Hugs to both of you!
I am so sorry for your friend. It's good she has a friend like you to help get her through this.
I have very limited email access where I am so I've only just read your blog.
So sorry for your news and that of your friend. So hard.
It is good that you were prepared for it not to work. I've always "known" when it's worked and when it hasn't so test days never held many surprises.
Look after yourself.
I'm so sorry about your friends news. What a wonderful friend you are and glad your friend has you through this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers to you both.
I'm so sorry for your friend, and I commend you for being her strength.
My cousin's daughter was murdered about 7 years ago, and being her supporter was the hardest, most rewarding thing I've ever done.
All of us in this IF world need a friend like you, even in the moment of negativity you can be positive for someone else.
I'm so sorry for your negative but at the same time, so glad that you have someone you can look to for support and be there for her as well.
What a rough day. I'm glad you guys have each other.
It is frightening to think that a BFP is just a step in the journey; so many other things can happen. I would like to think that being pregnant will be such a relief, but it brings a new set of worries. Of course, once you give birth it's a new set of worries. When they go to school, it's a new set of worries. When they turn 18, it's a new set of worries. I guess that's part of being (or becoming) a parent. As shitty as it is, you risk an incredible amount of heartache just to experience to miracle of one human life.
I'm sorry for your negative, and sorry for your friend's loss. And again, I'm amazed by your strength!
Oh how terrible.
I always thought that once I got pregnant, my worries would be over. But now that I am finally blessed with being pregnant, I sometimes can't fall asleep from worrying about all the things that can go wrong. It never ends!
I guess there was a reason for you to end up at your friend's house today. I am sorry for your negative and for her news.
oh no, i'm so sorry for both your losses, but glad you have each other. take care of yourself as well as your friend.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. She's lucky to have you :)
More mail on its way to you :) *Hugs*
WOW. I guess something like that really jolts you out of misery about a failed cycle. I agree that I would rather not be pregnant than have to make the decision about a baby with Down's. Yikes!
At the same time, you must be carrying lots of grief and are an incredible friend to be there for her!!! But make sure to find time to nurture yourself, too!!
Becks
I'm so sorry. I'm away in Italy for the weekend and had a mad few days before I left. I've only just checked for your news. You're being so brave and you're right - your friend's news does put this in some perspective.
Odd you felt drawn to go and see her - some weird telephathy of a friend in need.
Big hug xxxx
Sorry for your BFN. It's also sad to hear the news about your friend's baby. After getting knocked down, we just have to get up again.
I'm sorry that I'm getting to this so late, but wanted to say I'm so sorry for your friend. I'm sure she will so appreciate your support. Though I wish she didn't need it...and that you never went through anything that helped you relate...
I'm so sorry about your friend, it's terrible news.
Hugs for you during this time sweetie, we know it's hard.
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